


Let's Go To Disneyland

by words_reign_here



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cancer, F/F, F/M, Sick Dean, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:06:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2309099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/words_reign_here/pseuds/words_reign_here
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On my blog, I play a game where I ask my followers to submit some things to me and I'll write a fic for them. This time around, I asked for:<br/>1.) A pairing<br/>2.) Give me a song.<br/>3.) I will write you a fic<br/>This fic came from Hozier's Work Song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Go To Disneyland

"Dean?" Mary asked. "Dean."

"Yeah, sorry. What did you say?" Dean asked, shaking his head.

Mary smiled, soft and slow. "So. When do I get to meet him or her?"

Dean opened his mouth. "I, uh, don't know what you are talking about."

"Sunday." Mary said, nodding and standing from the kitchen table. "I'll get a roast and what does this person like better? Apple or cherry pie?"

Sam watched from his side of the table, papers spread in front of him. "Wait, what?" Dean asked, shaking his head and looking down at the eggs and bacon his mom had set in front of him.

"The last time I saw you like this was with Lisa Braeden. Come on, Dean. I'm your mother. Do you really think I would notice when one of my sons is in love?"

Dean opened his mouth and looked at Sam. He was trying not smile too widely. Yeah, Sam knew too.

"What the hell, you guys?" Dean asked.

"Hey, it's written all over you, man. I'm never even at home anymore and it's written all over you. It's gross." Sam said as he began to pack up his briefcase and their mom handed over a lunch to him.

"Shut up. You are a thirty year old man living at home whose mom packs him a lunch."

"You are thirty four and living at home and the only reason mom doesn't pack you a lunch is because she knows Ellen is going to feed you at the garage." Sam replied happily.

And honestly, what was the point of leaving their home? Dad had passed away a decade and a half earlier and leaving their mother alone did not sit well with either boy. Instead, they went to college, got their degrees, got jobs and lived their lives like they always had planned. Sam and Ruby were looking at buying a place only one street over in the next couple of years and Dean was content with his group of friends and his small family.

But he had met someone. Well, rather, Jo had pushed him at the bar a few weeks earlier and had made him spill his beer all over an unassuming man with beautiful blue eyes and messy dark hair and the widest, most disarming smile Dean had ever seen.

"All right." Dean said with a sigh. "I'll ask him."

"And make sure you ask him about dessert." Mary said as Dean stood and straightened his tie.

"I will." Dean promised. He put his plate in the sink and waved at Sam as he left the driveway. He raised a hand at his mom in turn and got in his car.

Once at the garage, he sent Cas a quick text.

_Hey, my mom and brother want you to come over for dinner on Sunday? If you aren't busy. I know it's a school night._

Dean slid into his chair in the back of the garage. He had payroll and a few new hires to get started on and he didn't expect Cas to return his text until around lunch time. To his surprise, his phone vibrated a few moments later.

_Sunday will be great. What time?_

Dean frowned at his phone. His mother hadn't set a time so he mentally shrugged.

_Five would be great._ Dean replied.

_Are we still on for tomorrow?_ Cas asked.

_Wild horses, darling. Wild horses_. Dean said and glanced up at his clock. His first interview was in ten minutes. He glanced down at his desk, scattered with the paperwork he needed. Pictures of him and his dad working on the Impala in Bobby's garage, Sam's gradation, Dean's graduation with with his mom and Sam, these were all the most important milestones in his life. He rarely felt like anything was missing. When Lisa had pushed for marriage, his heart wasn't in it. He had loved her that much was sure. He had been miserable when she had left, that much was also true.

But -

The closest Dean could explain it was that Lisa hadn't been his person. She belonged with someone else. And that was the cold hard truth.

Letting her go had been part of Dean growing up.  

Dean set his phone down and gathered his paperwork. He headed to the conference room and let Kevin know to let in his first interview whenever they were ready. Kevin nodded and handed him a cup of coffee and Dean thanked him. In the conference room, Dean pulled out his paperwork and his pen. Kevin poked his head in a few moments later and glanced down at the piece of paper in his hands.

"Ash for Head Mechanic, Mr. Winchester." Kevin said and let in a man who had, it was hard to admit, a _spectacular_ mullet.

Dean smiled. Life did not get better than this.

 

~

 

Sunday came upon Dean quickly. He was nervous and couldn't figure out why. Sam and Ruby were in the kitchen with Mary when the doorbell rang. Dean jumped to his feet and knocked the edge of the decorative table his mother kept there.

"Geez, ow." Dean said and half limped to the door. He could hear Ruby's laughter following him. He turned and stuck his tongue out at her and she blew him a kiss 

Cas was standing on the doorstep in a black leather jacket and a gray shirt with a loose blue tie.

"Hey." Dean breathed, rubbing his hip.

"Hello, Dean." He said gently, smiling easily. He stepped forward and pressed a firm kiss to Dean's lips and Dean tasted mint and smelled his aftershave.

"Come in." Dean said, tugging on his wrist. Cas held up a bottle of red wine.

"Rioja." Cas said. "I assume that your family is ok with alcohol intake?"

"Yeah, totally."

Cas held up his other hand. Flowers.

"Cas did you get me flowers?" Dean asked, charmed and flustered all at once.

Cas snorted. "Of course not. These are for your mother."

Now just charmed, Dean led Cas into the kitchen where everyone was waiting.

"Cas, this is mom, Mary. My brother, Sam. And that's his girlfriend-fiance, Ruby."

Cas smiled easily. "Hello." He said, stepping forward to shake Sam's hand. Sam smiled and said, "Let me take that for you." And Cas handed over the wine.

"Ma'am." Cas said and stuck out his hand. Mary took it in both of hers and smiled wide and sweet. 

"Castiel. Angel's name, isn't that right?" She asked.

He ducked his head. "Mom had a thing. But at least I didn't get stuck with Anael or Hael or Balthazar."

Mary laughed and Cas pressed the flowers into her hands. "For you."

To everyone's surprise, Mary blushed. "Cas, you shouldn't have."

He turned to Dean and winked.

Dinner was off to a great start.

 

~

 

That night, Cas treated them to stories of his wild times at the local high school. He had Ruby laughing so hard she was crying and making weird hiccup sounds and Sam had his face buried in his hands. Mary smiled along with the stories and made sure everyone had enough to eat. Around eight, Mary excused herself to go up to her room and Sam took Ruby home. Dean and Cas sat around the table awhile longer. Cas took Dean's hands in his and stroked the small scar on the side of his right wrist.

"Where's your dad?" Cas asked.

"Died. Fifteen years ago. Don't say you're sorry. Everyone says that. Don't say that." Dean said.

"Why not?"

Dean shrugged. "Nothing to be sorry for. He was a good man, he died after a sudden heart attack. We mourned him, we loved him, but we've also moved on."

Cas tilted his head to the side. "What an interesting way to look at things."

"By moving on?"

"By telling it so simply." Cas raised Dean's hands and kissed his knuckles. "I need to go. Class tomorrow."

Dean smiled. "Of course. I'll walk you out."

At Castiel's car, they exchanged a few kisses and more than a few kisses before Castiel climbed into his car and he left.

 

~

 

The next morning, Dean was pulling his pants on when he saw the bruise on his hip. It was about four inches wide and was black and purple.

"Geez." Dean muttered as he buckled his pants.

 

~

 

Time passed far too quickly for Dean's liking. Wrapped up in work and Cas, he barely noticed the spring fade into summer and suddenly Cas had enough time on his hands to hang out with Dean almost constantly. Not that Dean complained.

Until he got a cold.

Well, he thought he got a cold. He kept falling asleep earlier than he intended, stayed asleep longer than he meant to and felt achy all over.

"Go to the doctor, Dean." Cas said flatly for the third time since Inception had started playing.

"He's just going to tell me to get plenty of rest, drink fluids and take it easy for a couple of weeks."

"Dean this 'cold' has been going on for three weeks." Cas said, using actual air quotes. God, he was such a dork.

"Fine." Dean said trying to sound irritated. "I'll make an appointment tomorrow."

Cas kissed his neck. "Don't make me speak to Ellen and your mother about keeping that promise."

Dean pulled back. "You wouldn't."

"Try me, Winchester." Cas said with a grin.

 

~

 

Three days later, Dean sat in his doctor's office, nodding along with the words he was saying.

Oncology.

Ostosarcoma.

Radiation.

Life expectancy.

 

~

 

Dean sat in the Impala, flexing his hands around the wheel. It was a Friday. He was supposed to go to dinner with Sam and Ruby and Cas. They were going to one of those restaurants where they made it right in front of you and served you directly from the searing hot plate.  

Dean opened his door and puked. He sat back and wiped his mouth.

He pulled out his phone and sent out a message to Cas, Sam and Ruby:

Can't make tonight. I'll call you later.

He turned off his phone, tossed it in the backseat and pulled out of the parking lot.

~

Three hours and a hundred and fifty miles later, Dean pulled into a hotel parking lot. He checked in and went across the street to the small convenience store there. He got a pack of underwear, a toothbrush, bread, peanut butter, some loose knit pajama bottoms and three bottles of whiskey. The bored teenager at the front didn’t even look twice at his items and he walked back across the street and let himself into his room.

Once there he stripped of his clothes and got into the shower. He stayed there, the water hot needles on his back and somehow he ended up kneeling on the ground, his forehead pressed to the tile wall.

“I can’t do this.” He whispered.

He got out of the shower and opened the first whiskey bottle. He drank until it burned.

Dean allowed himself a drink of water and then drank some more whiskey. When he was good and wasted, he fell on the bed and cried.

~

Dean spent all day Saturday drunk. Saturday night he forced himself to go to the burger place down the street he had seen and bought himself some real food for the first time in over twenty four hours. He made himself sick on the first burger but after that, it was easier going.

On Sunday morning he drove himself home and sat in his driveway. Sam’s car was there, along with Ruby’s. Dean steeled himself before opening his door and trudging up the driveway. He was about to open the door when it was jerked open for him and Sam stood there, a mixture of anger and relief on his face. He gripped Dean by the wrist and jerked him forward, wrapping him up in a hug. Mary was there, crying, trying to wrap her arms around both of them.

“Where have you been? What happened?” Mary asked, crying. “Dean what happened?”

“Dude, why do you smell like a distillery?” Sam asked.

Dean was tired. He was tired and he was pissed off and he wanted his bed and he needed his family and he missed Cas and it was all wrong, it was all very fucked up, it wasn’t fair, it’s not fair, he’s only thirty four years old.

“Dean, baby, what’s not fair?” Mary asked, cradling his face.

“Mom-” Dean tried. His throat closed up and there were tears on his face and fuck it. He didn’t have any words to cushion this blow. “I have cancer.”

~

The next few days were a flurry. Bobby came by for some paperwork for him to fill out. Dean was being put on temporary disability from work. Mary was researching with Ruby all the information they could find out about osteosarcoma. Sam stayed by Dean’s side, near constantly.

On Thursday, his first day of treatment, Cas showed up on his doorstep.

“Why didn’t you call?” Cas asked, stepping into the house without another word.

Dean sighed. “You shouldn’t have to go through this.”

“Why?” Cas asked.

“We’ve only been together for a few months, Cas. This isn’t your burden.” Dean said.

Cas nodded and swung the keys around his finger. “And were you just not going to call me, tell me what was going, let me decide for myself if I wanted to stick around?”

Dean had no answer.

Cas sighed. “Get in. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“Cas, no-”

“Shut up, Dean. You’re going to be late.”

~

That night, Dean probably would have preferred to die. Cas was there with a cool towel and a soothing word. He rubbed Dean’s back and offered him a glass of water.

“This sucks.” Dean whined, leaning against Cas. Cas looped an around Dean’s waist and helped him up and into bed again. Mary was there with another towel, cool and damp against Dean’s skin.

“I imagine so.” Cas said, arranging a pillow behind him.

Dean fell asleep with Cas holding his hand.

~

Worse than the puking and the fatigue was when Dean began to lose his hair. It was gradual but he saw it gathering in the shower drain. He saw it in the hairbrush. And while, yes, Dean was vain to a certain extent, he never thought it ran this deep.

The night when he decided to ask Sam to shave his head instead of having weird tufts of hair, he cried. Sam braved it and used the clippers on Dean, going as fast as he dared. Cas sat next to him, his fingers threaded through Dean’s. After Sam was done, he left the bathroom as quickly as he could, wiping his face hurriedly.

“Shhh, hey.” Cas said, leaning into Dean. “You are the most beautiful person I know. This is just one thing. It’s such a small thing. It doesn’t even matter.”

That night, when Dean was finally able to rest, Cas went into the kitchen.

Mary was there, washing dishes. He went to her and began to dry off the dishes. She didn’t say anything, but at this point, there was really nothing left to say.

“How is he, tonight?” Mary asked.

Cas hesitated. “Not good. He’s got a low grade fever but he isn’t vomiting as much. I think Sam doing the hair thing was a good thing. I could tell it was bothering him.”

Mary handed Cas the last dish and Cas dried it silently before sliding it into its place.

“You are such a kind man for this, Cas. I’m not sure he would have gotten this far without-” Mary’s eyes spilled over and she held onto Castiel’s fingers. “Without you.”

Cas smiled and gathered Mary into his arms. She sobbed into his chest. “My baby.” She said over and over while wept.

“I love him, Mary.” Cas whispered into her hair. “I loved him from the moment he spilled his overpriced, pretentious beer all over my favorite shirt. I love him so much that this isn’t even a chore for me. I’m happy to be here with him. I want you to know that. I’m happy to be here with him.”

~

Dean went into the hospital the following week with complications.

~

When Mary and Sam weren’t there, Cas was. He held his hand while Dean slept and talked softly with him when he woke up. Cas told him over and over how much he loved him and Dean would smile weakly every time he said it. He never said it back but he never told Cas to stop either. So every single time Cas had a chance he would murmur it soft and slow in Dean’s ear.

_“Good morning. I love you.”_

_“It’s lunchtime. Would you like some soup? I love you.”_

_“It’s late. You need some rest. I love you.”_

_“I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

There was only once when Cas paused in his usual words.

“Cas, if this gets the best of me, I have a suit in the back of my closet. I got it for a special occasion.” Dean coughed and wiped at his mouth. “I got it for Sam and Ruby’s wedding. But hey, looks like I’ll wear it one way or the other.” He smiled but Cas did not return the smile. “If you could erase my internet history too, that would be great.” Dean glanced out the window. It was fall and the tree outside his window was golden. “I don’t want a church funeral-”

“Dean.” Cas said, sounding strangled.

“I can’t say that I want a party either. Just something simple. Quiet. I don’t want anything expensive either. Mom-” Dean paused and took a shuddering breath. His entire frame shook underneath the blankets. “Mom shouldn’t have to go through all of this. None of you should. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was poison from the moment you met me.”

“Are you saying that me loving you is poison, Dean?” Cas asked, arching an eyebrow arrogantly.

“No, that’s not-”

“Well then shut up. You have to conserve all your energy to fight this shit off. And if I hear you say anything else like that-” Cas stopped himself short and sighed. He leaned over and kissed Dean gently. “I love you. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

~

The road back to recovery was bumpy. It was not a short journey by any means but finally, six months later, Dean was declared officially in remission. He walked out of the hospital on his own and slid behind the Impala’s wheel for the first time in almost seven months. He breathed in deeply and looked over at Castiel who sat next to him in that familiar black leather jacket.

“Let’s go to Disneyland.”

Cas laughed and nodded. “I love you.”

Dean tugged Cas closer to him by the jacket. “I love you too.”  

 


End file.
